The Drunk and the Rodeo Queen

As a teenager, our oldest son raised and sold pigs.  One Saturday morning we received a phone call from a man requesting to buy 2 piglets.  He arrived at the house about noon driving a late model pickup accessorized with a covered bed.  As he and his female companion got out of the pickup, it was clear that we were in for an experience to remember. 

They were both in their late fifties and from the lines on their faces had lived a hard life.  The female wore way too much makeup and jeans so tight there wasn't room for wrinkles.  They both wore cowboy boots and western attire.  It was obvious that they had either started celebrating Saturday night early that morning or were still celebrating Friday night. 

While they accompanied us to the pig pen, he never cracked a smile and she laughed continually.  The man, our son, and I went into the pig pen to catch two piglets.  Now little piglets are cute, but they run really fast and squeal very loudly when being chased.  As the pursuit began, a contest of pigs and humans attempting to outwit each other ensued.  The goal was to catch two of the ten piglets, not specific piglets.  Humans reached to grab piglets.  Piglets squirmed out of reach and ran.  Humans ran to catch piglets.  Piglets cut back and ran the opposite direction.  Humans attempted to corner piglets.  Piglets wiggled out of grasp. 

During the entire escapade, the female companion stood on the gate laughing.  Occasionally, the man would stop and ask, "Are you sure you want piglets?"  She always replied, "Yes.  They are so cute."  Eventually the goal was achieved and two piglets were captured.  Our son and the man each carried one piglet to the pickup.  Both piglets were placed in the bed of the truck and the bed cover closed.  The female companion said, "Nooo, I want to hold one."  The man replied, "No! You are not holding a pig in my truck." 

As we watched the pickup disappear down the road, our son said, "Mom, I sure would like to be there when they sober up and discover there are two pigs in the back of their truck."  That night at dinner, he said, "Dad, let me tell you about the drunk and the rodeo queen."  Then he proceeded to tell the story.  It was much funnier sitting at the kitchen table than it was when we were running around that pig pen.