After the Intervention

I have intentionally taken a break from writing about 'The Saga of Denise' because it was emotionally draining.  I had worked on Denise's problems for four weeks before the day of the intervention.  I had watched God work in so many ways I lost count.  The morning of the intervention, Denise's mother said to me, "I don't look forward to this day."  I replied, "I do.  I am excited to see what God does.  He has already done so much, I can hardly wait to see what happens today."

Just a recap for those that are just tuning in.  I had discovered on a Friday that Denise needed professional help for what everyone believed was an addiction to prescription pain pills.  The next morning I began researching programs.  On Monday evening we conducted a conference call with five concerned loved ones and a program administrator.  On Wednesday I was contacted by an intervention service and scheduled the actual intervention for ten days later when one of the loved ones returned to the US.  The interventionist and three loved ones met on Friday afternoon in a hotel suite and received about four hours of training for the intervention.  On Saturday morning, I went to the house, woke Denise's son and asked him to leave for the intervention.  Then I woke Denise and informed her that company was coming.   Everyone arrived and we went through the process of the intervention.  At 7:15 that night, we put Denise and Sharon, the interventionist on the plane for Los Angeles, CA.  On the plane, Denise told Sharon that she knew her problem was the drugs and she was looking forward to getting off of them.

When she arrived at the facility, she informed them that she had been sent from Texas to California to have hemorrhoid surgery.  When they asked her about the intervention, she replied, "The intervention was for my son.  He's the drug addict, not me."  She began reporting to the facility that she had been deceived and sent there on false pretenses.  I received daily reports from the facility.  The 'wean down' schedule for the drugs began on Sunday morning. Meanwhile, she was insisting that they return her credit card and cell phone so she could go home.  On Monday, she was insisting less.  By Tuesday, she was becoming comfortable and beginning to interact with the other patients.  By Wednesday, she was talking to the younger patients a lot and they were calling her "mom".  I was very encouraged. 

However,  Proverbs 14:13 says, "Even in laughter the heart may ache, and rejoicing may end in grief."  On Thursday, the report was quite different.  I received a call in the middle of the day instead of the evening.  The nurse asked if Denise should to be allowed to call her daughter.  I said that would be fine.  Her daughter was completely on board with the program and would support whatever was in Denise's best interest.  I asked why she wanted to call Tiffany.  The nurse said that Denise thought Tiffany would help her get home.  I asked why was she wanting to go home, she hadn't been asking for a couple of days.  He said, "Well she has refused all of her narcotics today instead of sticking with the wean down program.  So she is feeling the withdrawal more."  I asked why she was refusing.  He said, "I don't know, but that is a good thing."  I answered, "No it isn't.  Denise always has an agenda.   She is up to something.  She is well aware that she could have seizures if she withdraws too quickly.  She might be trying to initiate a seizure.  Then she can blame you."  He quickly said, "I am going to get some medication down her one way or the other."  He called later that night for the scheduled report and reported that he had talked Denise into taking one of the one and half scheduled pills.  Friday's report wasn't much better.

My husband and I attended his class reunion Saturday night.  I walked around all night with my cell phone in my hand.  Since I knew no one at the reunion, sometimes I would walk to the hotel lobby and sit quietly waiting for my phone call.  It came at 9:26 p.m. and was not good.  Denise was not cooperating and refusing to follow protocol.  She had been escorted to the doctor every day for testing.  When the doctor asked a question, she would refuse to answer or change the subject.  She was in such a manic state that she was unable to hold a lucid conversation. She was also wetting herself.  Around seven o'clock that morning an attendant had heard Denise screaming in her room.  When the attendant entered the room, Denise was lying on the floor and screaming that she could not walk to the bathroom.  When the attendant walked over to help her, Denise grabbed her ankle and insisted on being pulled to the bathroom.  The nurse reported to me that "it is time for bottom line letter.  We will call you tomorrow and you tell her what will happen if she comes home."  Then he told me that the administrator would return to the facility in a few minutes and they would call me back with a time for the 'bottom line' phone call. 

About 40 minutes later, the administrator called and told me that he had serious doubts about Denise's mental stability.  He suggested that we not do 'bottom line' but rather tell Denise that I had made a mistake, the program was not for her and she should return home so we could get her the appropriate help.  I asked, "Are you sure that she is not doing this on purpose to  get kicked out of the program."  He said, "I don't think so.  It has been going on for too long and with too many people."  I said, "She is very stubborn and a very good drama queen."  He said, "No one could fake this behavior.  We see people try to get kicked out all the time.  But we have never seen this behavior."

I was distraught.  I understood what the administrator was saying and feared that we would be facing a mental illness. But the behaviorist in me had problems with rewarding inappropriate behavior and could not get past the thought that the behavior was intentional.  Saturday night, I got very little sleep and spent much time in prayer for wisdom.  We spent time in prayer as a family.  The phone call came on Sunday afternoon.  Denise was more focused and rational than I had seen her in a long time.  There was no sign of manic behavior or speech.  Not only was she able to stay on the subject, but was able to keep me on the task.  At one point, the administrator asked her, "What is going on here?  This is the most lucid we have seen you since you arrived here a week ago."  Denise claimed that she had been the same all week.  I knew better and knew exactly 'what was going on here'.  She was intentionally misbehaving to be forced out of the program.  She even joked with him, "I'm going to be a behavior problem no matter what." 

I demanded that she agree to some criteria and a plan before she be allowed to leave the facility.  She did agree and emailed me the agreement the following day.  Denise is home now and too upset to talk to me.  Her son is forbidding me to talk to her for 'a week or so'.  He is reporting that she turned all of her drugs over to him and he disposed of them.  I am not sure where this adventure is going, but for now, I am going to rest.  If Denise or her son need me, I am a phone call away.  Thankfully, Denise's mother and daughter are on the same page with me and my husband has been a huge support.  Several times a day he will say, "You did the right thing."  I know that I followed what God told me to do.  I wish my actions had been successful, but even Christ was not successful in converting all the people who watched the crucifixion.  I know He is still in control and at some point He will make his plan for Denise known.

Christian Writer Tour

 Beginning next week I will have the privilege of hosting five amazing Christian authors.  I will introduce you to one a week for the next five weeks.  My guests will be:

• Paulette Harper
• Anita Estes
• Marcia Lee Laycock
• Cheryl Rogers
• Tom Blubaugh

 This is just a preview of their amazing books.

Life's daily struggles can often leave us perplexed and bewildered on how to cope with hard issues. In COMPLETELY WHOLE, Paulette Harper offers keys to help those who are searching for answers that can lead to a life of complete wholeness: Spirit, Soul and Body. COMPLETELY WHOLE focuses on how to overcome suffering caused by alcoholism, substance abuse, poverty, and other obstacles blocking the path to a life of wholeness.

Letters to God is the poignant, true story of a parent's journey through the minefield of her adult child's addiction. It is the heartfelt cry of a mother who finds peace in the midst of her tsunami and discovers the secret of victorious prayer. It is a potent journal packed with prayers, practical advice and key, spiritual insights. Letters to God will encourage and help those who are dealing with prodigals.

The novel tells the story of Alex Donnelly who is running and trying to hide from nearly everyone. He has picked a good place to do it - the Yukon - but is pursued by friends, enemies, and most effectively, by God. Burning with the need to know about his parents, Alex returns to his birth-city, Seattle, where he discovers that his mother tried to abort him. The trauma sends him on the run again only to find out God has orchestrated a divine appointment for him back in the Yukon. The story is filled with miraculous healing, struggles with rage, and an obsession with revenge for a childhood abuser. It shows that God never gives up on those whom He has chosen. His mercy and grace extend to those who consider themselves unworthy, and even more so, to those who are considered unworthy in the eyes of the world. Laycock says, "The book tries to illustrate that no matter how far you run, God will find you. No matter how bad you've been, God will forgive you."

 

Fast Track to Victory began as a collection of Bible columns sharing what God had taught me in life -- either through his word or the circumstances of life. I'd suffered a lot, and I wanted to spare others the grief of going through life without a relationship with God.

Night of the Cossack is a compelling adventure about a teenager who is forced to grow up quickly. The main character, Nathan Hertzfield faces many life or death situations during his saga. Join Nathan on his suspenseful journey through parts of Russia and Europe during the early 1900's. Don't miss this entertaining and intriguing story, Night of the Cossack.

My Invitation to You Today

I have been blogging about Denise and her drug/behavior issues, but today we are going to take a break from 'The Saga of Denise' and introduce you to my friend, Linda Weaver Clarke.  She has written a book called Montezuma Intrigue.  I was fortunate enough to receive a copy.  The old country western song said, "you had me from hello", and so did Linda.  It is a facinating juxtaposition of the past and present.  Linda takes the reader on an adventure to discover the mysterious past and how it has affected the present. 

Please take time to visit her blog and take advantage of the 'freebies' being offered.

The following is an invitation from Linda.



This is an invitation to join me in celebrating the "Book Launch" of my Mystery/Adventure novel, beginning June 27th until July 7.

Celebrating Freedom and the Book Launch of Montezuma Intrigue

In celebration of our country's "Freedom" and my Official Book Launch for Montezuma Intrigue, I'm having a Book Give-Away from June 27 – July 7: Win a mystery/adventure novel with a touch of romance, at http://lindaweaverclarke.blogspot.com/

Adventure, suspense, romance, intrigue, humor, the search for Montezuma's treasure, family secrets, and a good-looking rogue!

When a leather parchment of Montezuma's map is found in great-grandfather Evans' old chest, April and the twins know this summer is going to be a memorable one. The girls want to search for it but their father is against it for some mysterious reason. With Julia's help, she and the girls convince John to go on a treasure hunt. Is Montezuma's treasure a legend or reality? Whatever the case, John insists on keeping their little treasure hunt a secret. If certain people find out about it, the family could be in danger.

But that's not all! There will be more gifts for you! You may also be eligible to receive 6 free books as part of this contest: a fantasy by Serena Clarke, children's books by Sherrill S. Cannon and Lorilyn Roberts, and more.

__._,_.___

God's Hand At Work--The Intervention II

Please understand that this is about 2 1/2 hours into the intervention.   At this point, Denise is in the bathroom, the intervention team is sitting in the living room with frazzled nerves and looking to me for answers. 

"What do we do now?" they asked.

 I stood there at a loss for words.  I looked out in the backyard and sent up a silent prayer.  Suddenly a peace and resolve filled my body.  I looked at the team and said, "We are going to pack for her to leave.  If she doesn't want to go, she is going to have to tell us to stop and say that she refuses to go.  Otherwise, we are going forward.  Find a suitcase, Tiffany."  I think this is called 'calling one's hand'.

The entire team got up and started gathering things to pack for Denise.  Tiffany went into one of the bedrooms to look for suitcases.  The interventionist asked, "Where is the garage?  They might be out there?"  I showed her the direction of the garage and she headed out there.  Tiffany came back without a suitcase.  I told her that Sharon had gone out to the garage.  Immediately Tiffany went to help.  Denise's mother started folding the mountain of clothes on the couch, thinking that we would find some of Denise's clothes there and basically pack from the couch.

Tiffany and Sharon came back into the living room with a suitcase just as Denise came out of the bathroom.  I took a deep breath.  Talk about being caught with your hand in the cookie jar.  Denise looked at the suitcase and said, "Oh Tiffany, don't get that old thing.  It's dirty.  I have better suitcases in here.  Come and let me show you."  Tiffany retrieved the good suitcases and we began packing.  Denise didn't like the clothes we picked and showed us which ones to pack. 

It is not unusual for addicts to fall asleep while smoking.  Every t-shirt she wanted packed had holes from cigarette burns.  Not one or two eighth inch holes.  A spattering of small holes and some as large as two inches in diameter.  Tiffany tried to get her to take good ones, but she insisted that there was no reason to burn shirts that were not already burned.  Her logic here is that she will fall asleep again while smoking, so use the shirts that are already burned.  In others words, don't solve the problem, just minimize the damage.

As Tiffany, Denise's mother, and I were packing, Denise announced she was in pain and needed to lie down.  When she got into her bedroom, we heard, "Sharon."  That was the first time she had addressed Sharon.  Immediately Sharon went into the bedroom.  Denise started talking to her.  I didn't know what about and didn't care.  She was connecting with Sharon and that was what needed to take place for this intervention to be successful.

Tiffany needed to actually book the flights that Sharon had placed on hold.  We were working on a budget and Tiffany was trying to use her frequent flier miles to pay for the flights.  She had explained to me that it is not as easy as people believe.  Sometimes frequent flier miles are not accepted for the desired flight, time, or airline.  It was possible that we would have to pay for the tickets. She had previously booked her flight back to St. Louis using some of her miles.  Tiffany wrote down all the information she would need to book the flights for Denise and Sharon.  Then she sat down at the computer and started entering our request.  In less than five minutes, the flights were booked and paid for with frequent flier miles.  Then she said, "Now let me see if I can book Sharon's flight from Los Angeles to Chicago."  In less than three minutes that was done using frequent flier miles successfully.  Tiffany looked up at me and said, "That never happens.  I have a hard time getting one flight when I want it.  I have never booked three tickets and gotten everything I wanted."  I reminded her that God was in control of this intervention.

Several times throughout the intervention, Denise tried to get us to leave so she could "think about getting help".  This is a ploy of the addict.  If left alone, he or she will take more drugs or leave before the team gets back.  We never left her alone.  About 2:00 p.m. Tiffany and Denise's mother left to pick up lunch for the team.  Sharon and I stayed with Denise, although she insisted that the team should go out for lunch at her expense.  We refused to take the bait. 

At one point Denise asked Sharon to come to the back room and see the planned remodel project.  When I saw them back there, I silently mouthed to Sharon that I was going to get better T-shirts to pack.  I closed the door so that Denise could not see me and went into her bedroom.  After a great deal of searching, I did find three no-hole T-shirts and packed them in the suitcase.  Later I needed to pack something else, but Denise was standing over me.  I knew if I opened that suitcase, she would take out the good T-shirts, so I stood there holding the object for about 10 minutes.  I would have stood there all day if necessary, but I was determined that she was not taking those old, stained, burned T-shirts.

By 4:45 p.m. we were on our way to the airport for the 7:15 flight to Los Angeles.  At 6:00 we were at the airport.  Most addicts are very good manipulators.  Denise has a master's degree in manipulation.  As was to be expected, Denise played the victim at the airport so she could get priority treatment.  The last time we saw her, she was in a wheelchair, being wheeled down the sidewalk by an attendant with Sharon walking beside her. 

As emotionally and physically drained as I was, I knew Sharon had a four hour flight with Denise.  I prayed that God's grace would sustain Sharon for the long, nonstop conversation she was about to endure.  The intervention had been successful.  Denise was entering treatment for addiction to prescription pain pills.  Right?? Well, maybe not.

More tomorrow.  If you have not already done so, please check the appropriate box if you have a loved one who struggles with addiction.

God's Hand At Work-The Intervention

Saturday morning was bright, sunny, hot and sticky.  The 'intervention team' went to breakfast.  After eating more than we should, we wrote the 'bottom line' letter.  A bottom line letter tells the addict in no uncertain terms what will happen if he or she refuses the help.  It includes the consequences of their refusal, including what the family will do to take further action.  It informs the addict that he or she is no longer invited to family functions and the family will not listen to their problems until they are ready to accept treatment.  This letter is held by the interventionist until it is obvious the addict is not going to accept the help being offered.  Often times treatment is accepted after this letter is read.

At breakfast I informed the others that Denise thought she looked so bad that she didn't want to be seen by the family.  I asked them to wait outside until I could make her more comfortable about her appearance.  At 10:00 a.m. I called Denise to tell her I was coming to her house.

"I'm asleep."  She said.

"That's alright.  Just get up, unlock the door and go back to bed.  I'll let myself in.  I want to see Bobby."

"He's asleep, too."

"He'll wake up.  Just get up and unlock the door."

Ten minutes later, I entered the dark, dreary, less-welcoming-than-the-Adams-family house.  I groped my way down the hall to Bobby's room, knocked on the door, and announced that I was there.  He immediately opened the door, let me in and then sat down on the bed.

"What's going on?" he asked.

"Your sister and your grandmother are one their way over here to do an intervention on your mother.  We are going to try to get her to go to rehab tonight."

"Cool."

"Tiffany has suggest it would be best if you are not here because your mother gets so angry with you."

"So, you want me to get lost for the day?"

"Do you mind?"

"No, it's okay."

He immediately went to the shower and I went to Denise's room. 

"Denise, wake up.  There are some people coming over to see you."

"No, I don't want to see anybody.  I don't want them to see my house.  I am hurting so bad.  I had a bad night."

"Well they are coming, so do you want me to help you put on your wig?"

"No, I'm not vain.  I just don't want to see anyone.  Who's coming?  Is my mother bringing her preacher over here to pray for me?  Is this some sort of intervention?  Because if it is, I don't need it.  I am not a drug addict.  I don't even take all my pills prescribed.  I have pills left over every month.  I'll show you?"  She opened a draw to show me all the pill bottles.  The addict will always try to deny the addiction, defend his actions and justify his need for the pills. "I have to go to the bathroom" she announced. While in the bathroom, she began crying, claiming she was in pain.

By the time Bobby got out of the shower and dressed, the rest of the team was at the house.  He walked out of his room, hugged his grandmother and sister.  I introduced the interventionist.  "Do you want a hug, too.  Come here."  He said as he embraced her in a big bear hug.  After a short exchange of farewells, he left the house.

Denise came out of the bathroom crying uncontrollably.  Her mother and daughter attempted to hug her, but she claimed she was in too much pain and went back to bed.  Immediately, Tiffany began gathering chairs and stools.  "Here take this to her room"  She told each one of us.  She was determined that nothing was going to stop this intervention. 

We all crowded into the small room and sat beside the bed.  I introduced the interventionist to Denise.  There was no response, which was a good sign.  I fully expected her to tell the interventionist to go somewhere else; her services were not needed.  Not in polite words that I would print.

"I am here because your family has some concerns about your health."  Sharon began. 

"I'm fine.  I don't need any help."

"Well we think you do."  Sharon continued.  Then she instructed each of us to read our letters. 

Denise was defensive and somewhat argumentative during the letter reading.  She claimed we didn't understand her pain and again defended the amount of drugs she took.  She asked me to open the drawer and show them the pills.  She pointed to the calendar and informed us of each upcoming doctor's appointment.  "I am doing everything I can for my health.  I have been waiting for surgery for 3 months.  They keep passing me from doctor to doctor."

I did most of the talking because Denise is less argumentative with me than others.  "I have found a program that can take care of your whole body.  Then you won't have to go to different doctors trying to find out what is wrong."

"I like my doctors."

"I know you like your doctors, but you have been waiting 3 months already and still don't have surgery scheduled."

"Yes, I do.  I have an appointment on the 30th."

"You have an appointment for surgery on the 30th?"  The addict will try to confuse the facts.

"No I have a doctor's appointment to be released.  Then I can go to the next doctor who will schedule the surgery." 

"If you go to this program, they won't pass you around like that."

"I like my doctors."

"Mom, please go for this treatment."  Tiffany pleaded.

"I'll go after the 30th.  I can't go before then.  I have a surgery scheduled."  Again attempting to confusing the facts.

"The 30th is two weeks away. Then it will take another two weeks to schedule surgery.  That's another month.  I have talked to these doctors and told them about your health.  They have set up some special tests to try and help your Chordoma tumor."

"Mom, please go for treatment."

"I'll go tomorrow."

"Well actually, we have flights book for 7:15 tonight."  Tiffany exaggerated this a little.  Sharon had placed two flights on hold, but not booked. 

"Tiffany, how could you do that to me.  I'm not going anywhere tonight.  All of you need to get out of my room so I can put in my suppository."  The other three left.  Before I could leave, Denise began telling me why she could not leave that night.  I slammed the door and we had a 'come to Jesus meeting'. 

"I can't go.  Who is going to take care of Bobby?"

"I'll take care of Bobby."

"What about my bills?"

"I can pay your bills online just like you do now."

"What if I get out there and they find something that takes three months to cure?  Am I going to stay out there three months?"

"Why not?" 

"Get out of my way, I'm going to the bathroom."

Denise went to the bathroom and I went into the living room.  The other members of the team looked up at me and said, "What do we do now?" 

Answer tomorrow.  Please check the appropriate box if you have a loved one who suffers with an addiction.  If you marked an answer yesterday, please do not mark again.  I will add all the posts for a total at the end of the series.

God's Hand At Work--Leading up to the Intervention

I thought I would not be very busy during the week and a half between the conference call and the scheduled intervention.  I knew I had a commitment to VBS, but I thought everything for the intervention was complete.  Instead, I was on the phone daily with the admissions administrator of the program or the company sending the trained interventionist.  One of our conversations included a discussion of Denise's personality and the right person to help us with the intervention.  It had to be a strong, independent woman.  Denise would not connect with any other type.  Connection is crucial to a successful intervention.  The service explained that the training for the intervention would last 4-8 hours.  This was a problem since none of us live in the area where Denise does.  I searched online and discovered that I could rent a hotel suite with two bedrooms, two bathrooms and a living room for the same price as separate hotel rooms.  I made the reservation.

On Thursday before my VBS team went into chapel, they were telling me good-bye and I asked that we have prayer.  We joined hands in a circle and one by one, these ladies prayed that God grant me a safe journey, wise words, and emotional strength.  Then they prayed for the other members of the intervention team.  They concluded by praying that God would soften Denise's heart and help her to be receptive to the help she was being offered.  Then one lady looked at another and said "Remind me to ask prayer for this  tomorrow morning at the staff meeting."  I left feeling blessed to have such good friends.

Friday morning I left the lake at 7:00 to make sure I was at the airport on time.  Bush Intercontinental Airport is a maze and I do not attempt to maneuver within it.  I always park at a Park and Ride and let them drive me to the door.  It is worth every penny I pay.  The closer the van got to the terminal door, the more the knot in my stomach tightened.  This was real, real, REAL.

I sat down at baggage claim to wait for the interventionist.  Sharon arrived at 10:30 and we instantly connected.  The team member who had been out of the country was flying in at 11:50, so Sharon and I waited for her.  It was a good time for me to brief her about Denise and the addiction.  When Tiffany did arrive, the three of us went to lunch.  At that time, Tiffany briefed Sharon about Denise.  What she said verified what I had told Sharon in the airport.  We proceeded to the hotel and waited for the fourth member of the team to arrive. 

The hotel suite was perfect.  Tiffany and I could access the Internet with our laptops and there was ample room in the living room for everyone to sit comfortably and listen to the training.  We went through the training manual, discussing Denise at certain points.  The service had sent each team member a letter writing guide and  instructed us to write a letter to Denise explaining how her addiction affected us.  After we completed the training, we read our letters aloud to each other and examined them for any criticism or admonishment.  There were none, so no letter needed to rewritten.  We completed the plan including what would be said if Denise refused to go for help. 

At dinner, Tiffany expressed concern about Denise's son being home during the intervention.  Denise seems to become easily angry at her son for even breathing.  Tiffany said that if he was there Denise would focus all her energy on being angry with him and not listening to what we said.  The team agreed that he had to leave the house.  A vote was taken on who would tell him.  I was elected.  Remind me not to go to the bathroom during a meeting again. 

Sharon had gotten up at 2:00 Friday morning to make her flight.  Tiffany had flown all night from China to Los Angeles and then on to Houston.  I had not slept well in two weeks.  Although we were all exhausted and went to bed at a reasonable time, no one slept very well due to anxiety.  Although we all trusted God, during a time like this, any surprise or deviation of the plan is a potential for derailment.  The cost in this case may very well be Denise's death due to drug overdose. 

Tomorrow we will begin with the morning of the intervention, which may need to be two posts due to length.

Many families are plagued with the problem of addiction.  My mother attends a very small church and has discovered that 10 families in their small congregation have a loved one addicted to prescription pain pills.  One pastor's wife admitted an addiction.   Many of my Christian friends have expressed that they have a loved one who has required help to overcome the addiction.  If you have a loved one who has an addiction, please mark the nature of the addiction at the bottom of this post.  This system is set up to tally the comments.  There is no way for anyone to learn who responded.

God's Hand At Work

About two weeks ago, I asked for prayer about a difficult family matter and promised to tell you more later.  I am now ready to tell you the details and show you God's hand at work.

On Friday, two and a half weeks ago, I escorted a relative to the hospital for a procedure.  It was a simple procedure, however, Denise (not real name) was convinced that she would die during the procedure.  She insisted that a Do Not Resuscitate be notarized before the procedure began.  It was obvious to everyone that Denise was suffering with some sort of mental instability.  I received many questioning looks during the day.   I knew the truth but could not tell them. 

After the procedure, the doctor came to visit with me.  I was determined to get some straight answers from him because the entire family knew that Denise was not telling us the truth.  I wondered how to ask him knowing he was limited by HIPA regulations.  For his protection, I did my best to give him answers rather than asking questions.  I gaged the validity of the answers by his reaction rather than his answers.  I told him that Denise was convinced that she had a stage 4 tumor and 9-11 months to live.  He replied, "She has a very active imagination."  I informed him that Denise was reporting that she overheard a conversation between him and his office nurse about the tumor.  With a smile, he replied, "Well she certainly has a good imagination, doesn't she?"  Then to my amazement, he said, "There is another problem, you know?"  So that he would not have to betray a confidence, I said, "Denise is addicted to prescription pills."  He replied, "She needs professional help."

The following morning at 5:00 a.m., I began researching drug intervention programs.  I found one that asked the reader to leave contact information.  I completed the form and expected a polite reply email on Monday.  Instead at 4:00 p.m. that afternoon, I received a phone call from them.  After an hour of conversation about Denise's problems, the representative said, "I'm sorry, but we can't help Denise.  She needs more help than our program can give.  Let me call another program that I recommend and they will call you back."

About 20 minutes later, a representative of the second program called.  We also talked for over an hour.  Both counselors told me as much about Denise as I told them.  When I asked how they knew, they replied, "We can tell by the kind of drugs she is taking." 

I felt good about the program and agreed to a conference call between the facility and several family members.  I attempted to coordinate every one's busy schedules for the call.  Late Monday afternoon, I knew that the best time for the call would be 6:00 that night and told everyone to be on standby for the call.  I attempted to contact the counselor to tell her but she didn't answer the phone.  I was in a panic. One member of the team was on the east coast, one in the north, three in the southeast, and the counselor on the west coast.   I knew that if the call did not take place that night, we would have to wait several days before our schedules would allow us to "meet".

One hour before the scheduled conference, the counselor called me.  At that time she did not know I had scheduled the call.  She explained that her baby was ill and she had spent the day in the doctor's office.  She had just returned to work and thought it a good idea to 'check in' with me.  I asked if it would be possible to hold the conference call in one hour.  She agreed, took every one's phone numbers and gave me order of events for the call.

The conference call lasted about one hour and fifteen minutes.  Everyone shared information about Denise and came to the conclusion that she needed help.  We scheduled the intervention for ten days later because one member of the team would be out of the country. 

Denise had called my phone several times during the conference call and I had ignored the interruption.  I returned her call and listened to her ranting for over an hour.  I told her I needed to go and then my phone lost the signal.  Immediately, the house phone rang.  I answered it to keep from waking my husband.  Denise started talking about her health.  Typically, Denise shares only what she wants to share and resents questions.  Without warning, she said something about her pain pills and I seized the moment.  "What do you take for pain?"  I asked.  Denise gave me the entire list of all her medications. 

The following day, every team member began researching the program.  After extensive conversation, we agreed that Denise needed to be in this long term in-patient facility.  Then we began working on the intervention portion. 

I can see at least 3 times that God intervened to make this happen.  There are many more times coming our way during the intervention.  We will talk about that tomorrow and once again, you will see God's hand at work.

The Famous Book Writer

In April of this year, I conducted a book signing at the church where we belong.  I called my friend and asked if she could handle the money for me and then send the customer to my table.  This would allow me to visit with everyone.  She immediately agreed but then explained that her 10 year old granddaughter was visiting.  I said, "Bring her along.  She won't be any problem."

The intelligent, 10 year old Scarlett proved to be a great asset to the signing.  She never meets a stranger so had no problem instructing the adults of what was needed.  I heard her tell our 92 year old head deacon, "Please sign her guest book so she will know that you were here."  After he signed, she said, "If you'll step over to that table, the author will sign the book for you."

Today at Vacation Bible School, Scarlett introduced me to one of her friends.  She said, "This is Miss Theresa Franklin.  She is the famous book writer.  Did you know that we have a famous book writer in our church?" 

I turned to the other child and said, "I'm only famous because Scarlett keeps telling everyone I am."  What does the bible say about the faith of a child?

Ten More Sites for Christian Book Reviews

Here are 10 more sites that you might want to bookmark for reviews of Christian Books.

The Christian Book Review http://the-christian-book-review.blogspot.com/
Book Buzz http://books-buzz.blogspot.com/
Author Book Marketing http://author-book-marketing.blogspot.com/
The Book Review http://author-book-reviews.blogspot.com/
The Christian Book Reviewer http://the-christian-book-reviewer.blogspot.com/
Christian Book Marketing http://christian-book-marketing.blogspot.com/
The Authors Page http://authorsblogspot.blogspot.com/
Book Promotions http://book-promotions.blogspot.com/
Short Stories, Great Reads http://eric-zehnder-books.blogspot.com/
New Book Releases http://newbook-releases.blogspot.com/

Does Love Cover Sin?

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. I Peter 4:8 NIV.  We learned this verse in Sunday School.  We have learned that if we love each other, we will be able to overlook each other's sin.  Does it work according to the world's standards?

Apparently not.  What does the world really believe?  Above all, love those that have money, because money covers over a multitude of sins.  The morning news featured a story about Hugh Hefner.  I was checking email and saw the pictures.  The sound on the television was muted so I do not know what was reported.  However, I saw him being toasted and applauded by young, beautiful women.  The world sees Hugh Hefner as a classy, sexy, successful man.

If  Hugh Hefner did not have mega-money, he would be considered a dirty old man.   He has made a fortune flaunting a life of sin, pushing pornography under the guise of 'freedom of the press/expression', and trying to convince Joe Everyman that he is missing a fulfilling life by remaining faithful to his wife.

Sexy women and envious men may be impressed with Hugh Hefner, but will God? 

Reviews of Christian Books

Have you ever purchased a book only to discover that it was not to your taste?  You try your best to complete it, but you just can't.  I have.  I have a book in my collection that I absolutely could not get more than half way through.  It was a Christian book with a good story line, but the sub-plots were too deep for my taste.

There are several sites dedicated to reviewing Christian books.  Here are 10 links to websites that should prove beneficial in your search for good reading material.

Author Promotions http://author-media-blog-book-marketing.blogspot.com/
The Everlasting Kingdom http://theeverlastingkingdom.blogspot.com/
Professional Book Reviews http://professional-book-reviews.blogspot.com/
The Authors Book Club http://authors-club-books.blogspot.com/
Just For Book Lovers http://just-for-book-lovers.blogspot.com/
Author Search http://authors-wanted.blogspot.com/
The Though Provoking Blog http://the-ericzehnder-collection.blogspot.com/
The Book Club http://da-book-club.blogspot.com/
Great Books, Great Reads http://great-books-great-reads.blogspot.com/
Da Blog Master http://da-blog-master.blogspot.com/

Leaving for Vacation

Well the day is finally here.  I am leaving for vacation this morning.  A host of people are leaving for vacation this morning.  We are all going to New York--The Big Apple.  Wait!!  Why are all these kids here with us?  Oh, yes,  it's VBS time. 

During the next few weeks, many churches will be conducting Vacation Bible School.  One curriculum being used is The Big Apple Adventure published by Lifeway Press.  The common theme is Making a Connection.  The students will learn to:

• Connect with Faith using the illustration of the Centurion Acts in Faith (Matt. 8).  The life application is I can have faith in Jesus.
• Connect with Love using the illustration of A Woman Responds with Love (Luke 7).  The life application will be I can love Jesus.
• Connect with Trust from the Bible story of Nicodemus Chooses to Trust (John 3).  I can trust Jesus as my Savior will be the life application.
• Connect with Others from the Bible story of The Samaritan Woman Tells others (John 4). The life application being  I can tell others about Jesus.
• Connect with Life from the Bible Story The Disciples Receive Instruction (Acts 1).  The life application will be I can live for Jesus.

Yes, the kids come for the fun.  Yes, they come because they are bored.  Yes, they come because their friend invited them.  It doesn't matter WHY they come.  The important fact is THEY COME.  

No matter what curriculum being used, let's take this opportunity to tell a child something he or she might not hear from anyone else--Jesus Christ died on the cross for their salvation. 

Won't you take a moment to pray for children and workers involved in VBS this summer?

Book Review of Don't Forget Daddy

Title: Don’t Forget Daddy

Author: By Theresa Franklin

ISBN # 978-1-61739-637-3
Review Date: June 07, 2011
Review by: Christian Book Reviews
10.0 stars on a scale of 10.0

Don’t Forget Daddy by Theresa Franklin is a delightful book to read to any young child experiencing change in the family dynamics whether it is through divorce, remarriage or the death of a parent, especially in respect to loss of a father. 

Author Theresa Franklin, writes with heartfelt compassion by addressing these delicate subjects in a creative way that will help identify any feelings that a child may be holding on to in their emotions.  By opening up the lines of communication, this book will allow a child going through similar circumstances to be able to share their feelings.  This book offers wonderful solutions to any young child on how to cope with the change in the family.

The short story opens with Ashley, a young child, sitting and conversing with a man who has become mommy’s friend.  She likes him, but does not know how to feel about him because she doesn’t want to forget her daddy.  With colorful illustrations and an easy to read dialogue your child will be able to understand this book as Ashley accepts her new daddy, and her new life with wonderful excitement.  We find out through the book that change is okay and can be a good thing for all the parties involved.

With the divorce rate being close to 50 percent these days, many young children have to adapt to the loss of a parent and/or a new stepparent.  Change is not easy, especially when you don’t understand why it is happening.  To a child this can be devastating and as parents it is imperative that these issues are addressed along with any feelings a child might have towards the change in the family dynamics.  This book will help you do just that in a loving and compassionate way.

Don’t forget Daddy is also a recommended book for parents or physiologists that want to open the dialogue between parent and child.  This book can be used as a tool for parents or professionals to address a child’s feelings whatever they may be towards the change in the family dynamics.  It would be a perfect book for the mother who is remarrying with young children.  I read it to my 6 year old daughter and all she could say was, “Again, again!”  She loved it and I look forward to more books from this talented author that address issues with children and their feelings!

Don’t Forget Daddy by Theresa Franklin

Highly Recommended
10.0 stars on a scale of 10.0
Reviewed by Christian Book Reviews

Not So Extreme Couponing

I have written several posts about Extreme Couponing.  I disagree with the practice of acquiring products, which are not needed, just because they are free with a coupon.  'Buying' 114 bottles of Tylenol just because one has a coupon making them free is ridiculous.  The pills will expire long before any one family can use them.  Having a stock pile of 240 laundry detergents because they were free is ludicrous.  Each bottle holds enough detergent to wash 44 loads.  If a family washes 1.5 loads a day, they will go through one bottle a month.  The stock pile will last 2 years.  Sales are repeated every 3 months.  That means the sale on detergents has been repeated 8 times.  So did the person really need to stock up 240 bottles?

Coupons are intended to encourage shoppers to purchase a product, try a new product, or buy extra products.  They are not intended to "clear the shelf" leaving other shoppers deprived of the sale.  To use coupons effectively and fairly, one should only buy enough of any product to last the family 3 months --until the next sale. 

Couponing is a smart way to be wise stewards of the family money.  They can cut the grocery bill by 30-40%, a big help in today's economy.  I began using coupons a few weeks ago and I do have to confess it is exciting to see the grocery bill start going down when they start scanning those coupons.  I am not an expert and certainly not 'extreme', and never will be.  But I did cut my grocery bill by 28% last week.  It was also the most exciting grocery trip I've ever had.  I recommend it--but please use coupons responsibility.

What Is Love?

When my children were growing up, I would tell them, "I have to do what is best for you, even when it is not easy on me or you."  Many times it would have been easier to give in to their request or ignore inappropriate behavior.  But if we love someone, taking 'easy street' is not in their best interest.  In fact it is self-indulgent.

Christ certainly didn't take the easy way out when he died on the cross for our sins.  The old song said, "He could have called 10,000 angels.  But He died for you and He died for me."  If we want to show the kind of love that Christ showed us, we need to be willing to sacrifice ourselves for our loved ones' best interest.

As most of you know, my mother-in-law just passed away.  She was a wonderful woman in many ways, but irresponsible with finances and health.  To do what was in her best interest, I obtained complete control of her finances and medical decisions.  It was not easy to go through the legal channels, but the end result was that I was able to place her in an assisted living facility which extended her life by at least five years.  These facilities are not cheap and there is no way she could have afforded it if she had access to funds.  I did what I had to do to care for her.  She understood and after an adjustment period, appreciated it.  (The nurses would laugh and tell me that if they asked her to make a decision, her answer was always "Call Theresa.")

I am now faced with another 'opportunity to serve' but at great sacrifice.  This task will be much harder, but if I am to show the love of Christ, I must be willing to go to whatever lengths necessary to provide care for some one who is unable to recognize the need.  I will tell you more about this situation in later posts.  Please pray for me as I do the research and make the decisions necessary.

Worse Than Death

I am back after a short break, initially to work on the site and give myself a couple of days to handle my already-too-full plate.  During the break God took one of the loved ones on my plate home to be with him.  Although family members had helped, I had been the primary care-giver for my mother-in-law for 12 years.  She was in the hospital at the time of my announced break from posting and needed me even more than I realized.

My mother-in-law had been ill for several years.  She had diabetes, COPD, renal failure, and numerous other afflictions.  Seven years ago, we had made the decision to place her in an assisted living facility to help care for her.  It was a decision supported by all of her children and she understood the necessity.  The facility was a wonderful resource and contacted me for any decision about her care.  They handled medical appointments and stayed in touch with the doctors.  After a doctor's visit, they would contact the doctor and get needed instructions and updates.  Then they would translate the medical information into English so I could understand it.  (I'm still wondering why doctors cannot use any word that does not have a Latin base word when speaking to family members of patients.)

On Friday morning, the home-health care nurse called me and said that my mother-in-law was being transported to the emergency room because of an elevated heart rate.  My husband and his brother spent the entire day in the emergency room with her.  She was admitted into the hospital around 6 p.m.  My husband, brother-in-law and I took turns staying with her.  She was dismissed after a week in the hospital.  Weak and unable to stand on her own, she worried about being sent to a nursing home.  At one point she said, "If I have to go to a nursing home, I'm going to shoot myself."  I asked, "Really?  Who is going to supply the gun?"  She just laughed. 

My mother-in-law had been back at the assisted living facility about 5 hours when I started receiving calls from them.  She had tried to get out of bed without assistance and fallen.  Emergency medical personnel was called to help get her back in bed.  I phoned her and she promised, through tears, not to try again.  I received 5 phone calls from the assisted living facility during the night; one of them to inform me that they could not care for her and she would be sent to rehab the following day.  With her declining health, the possibility of returning to the facility was very low. 

Sure of her salvation, my mother-in-law did not fear death.  She feared being placed in a nursing home.  I dreaded the idea of telling her that she was being placed in rehab.  The phone calls of her declining pulse and breathing came about 4 a.m.  By 5:30 a.m. she had gone home to be with the Lord. 

Many people expressed their sympathy and sorrow.  We are sad that she is gone, but know that we will see her again.  My husband asked the preacher to repeat during her service something he often says at funerals.  "This is not good-bye.  It is so long, see you later."  We are blessed with the knowledge that we will see her again--not because she was a good person or because she earned heaven.  Not because of anything she did, but because of what Christ did.  He died on the cross for the remission of her sins.  When she accepted that gift, she received the assurance of salvation. 

I firmly believe that my mother-in-law attempted to get up without assistance because she was afraid they would send her to a nursing home if she asked for help.  I believe that after EMS placed her back in bed, she willed herself to die and avoid that possibility.  She feared the nursing home much more than death.  And with good reason.  She did not know what would happen to her in the nursing home.  But she was sure of what would happen to her in death.  Are you sure?