Monday, February 7, 2011

The Helpful (Guilty) Coach

This is a true story so I have changed the names to protect the privacy of all concerned, but the humor is too good not to share.  Here are the players:

Lucky ISD- District of employment
Ronald- Student and star football player
Ms. June Cleaver- Teacher
Coach Dumb Dumb- Special Education Teacher/Coach
Ms. Donna Reed - Principal at Gotcha ISD

Years ago while working at Lucky ISD a Special Education Teacher/Coach was hired.  (Not by me--let's get that perfectly clear.  I did not hire that man.)  At this school, students were required to have a specific number of points for Accelerated Readers (read independently).  The number of points affected their grades.  One day Ms. June Cleaver was checking points to report at the end of the grading period.  She noticed that Ronald had more points than he should have so she examined his report carefully.  She found a test listed for a book that she knew he had not read.  She confronted him about the discrepancy and he replied, "I don't know what you are talking about Ms. Cleaver.  I never took that test."

Immediately Ms. Cleaver went to the the Coach Dumb Dumb and said, "Did Ronald take this test in Content Mastery?" 

Coach Dumb Dumb replied with a smile, "Well, he didn't have enough points to pass and I wanted him to play in the game so I took the test for him."

The test was removed from Ronald's record and the infraction was reported to the principal.  Eventually it go to me, which sealed the coach's fate. (We had already had several 'come to Jesus' meetings.)  I informed the principal that I would not renew the coach's contract.

The coach began looking for another job.  He scheduled an interview with Gotcha ISD.  During the interview, Ms. Donna Reed, principal said, "Oh, you worked at Lucky ISD.  My sister-in-law works there."

Coach Dumb Dumb asked, "Really, who is she?"

Ms. Reed answered, "Ms. June Cleaver.  Do you know her?"

Immediately Coach Dumb Dumb hung his head. "Yes ma'am, I do."

After the interview Ms. Reed called her sister-in-law and told her about the coach's reaction.  "Why did he act that way?"  At which point Ms. Cleaver had to tell her the story of the helpful coach who got caught.  Mrs. Reed decided not to hire Coach Dumb Dumb.
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