Monday, October 8, 2012

A Change In Twenty-four Hours

Hourglasses person changing egg timers.My husband is a wonderful man.  He truly desires to serve God, me, and our children.  He works hard at any task he undertakes.  There are many things I appreciate about him.  He possesses numerous skills that enhance my life.  One of the skills he does not possess is the art of encouragement.  He tends to think on the negative side of everything.  If you are celebrating a victory or an accomplishment, he will help you stay grounded by throwing cold water on the event. It never fails.  Let me start talking about what a glorious day it is and he will find something wrong with it.  Now he doesn't regularly complain.  But if I am pointing out the positive, he feels obligated to point out the negative.

It happened again yesterday.  We were driving to our property and discussing our future plans.  He started saying that he could do none of the work on the garage apartment we are building in.  He then went on to complain about the metal building he is in the process of completing and the stress he had suffered while constructing it.  I said, "Well, maybe God was trying to teach you something."  He said, "I know what it was, too.  Don't do it again."  The conversation didn't improve from there.  It took less than five minutes for my husband to extinguish the fire of my enthusiasm.  I was very disheartened and spent the rest of the day in prayer.  Now I know he doesn't do it on purpose.  He was raised in a home of discouragement.  Most of the time I understand that, but occasionally it gets to me.

Sometime in the early evening hours, I thought I wonder if there is a book to teach about encouraging your wife.  Immediately I logged on to amazon.com and searched how to encourage your wife.  Several books came up in the search.  As I looked over them I discovered there were two books by the same author.  One for the husband and one for the wife.  Then I thought, I don't want him to think I'm picking on him, so I'll download both books and we can both read about encouragement.

Product DetailsProduct DetailsWe each have a Kindle and I downloaded the appropriate book on each.  Then I went to the den where he was, handed his Kindle to him, and said, "I downloaded a book about encouragement on our Kindles.  I'm going to read mine.  You can do what you want with yours."  (I'm sorry if that sounds harsh, but it had been a difficult day.)  The books are called Bringing Out the Best in Your Husband, Encourage Your Spouse and Bringing Out the Best in Your Wife, Encourage Your Spouse by H. Norman Wright.  I went back to the bedroom and started reading.

"Wow."  That is the only word I can think of to describe my experience.  I learned more about my husband in the next twenty-four hours than in almost forty years of marriage.  Guess what?   He doesn't do these things to irritate me.  He can't help it.  He's a man.  In this book the author explains the difference in the female and male brains.  He teaches that most of the time what a man says is not what he means.  Then he teaches the appropriate response.  In other words he teaches us how to interpret our husband's seemingly foreign language.  I wish I had had this book earlier in my marriage.  It would have saved me many sleepless nights.

I have not read the book written for men to learn about women.  My husband is reading it, but I have intentionally refrained from asking questions.  I do have confidence in the author that the quality of the counterpart rivals the one I read.  I highly recommend this book for anyone who is a partner or caretaker for someone of the opposite sex.  I considered posting this on The Book Mama, but decided this is not really a book review.  I'm not reviewing a book, but rather sharing how the book changed my thinking.  If your marriage is great, good, or bad, you need this book.  There is not a marriage that couldn't benefit from the secrets revealed in this book.  I look forward to seeing how God will use this in my marriage.
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