Fiction Friday: Lonely Thanksgiving

Jerry stood in his dining room surrounded by his children, stepchildren, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren.  His step-daughters had worked for two days to create a memorable day.  The dinner was beautiful and delicious.  The great-grandchildren were happy and playful.  

There were at least twenty-five people in the house, but Jerry felt alone.  He had buried his wife last week.  Both widowed when they found each other late in life, they had married and enjoyed ten wonderful years together.  Each understood the pain of the other for the loss of their first mate. Neither were threatened by that grief.  Instead they shared stories of their first love and celebrated the memories together.  Age had taught them that love changes as the seasons of life progress.  They had experienced young love with their first mate and would always feel the loss.  The love they had for each other was mature bonding.

Jerry remembered the holidays after burying his first wife.  The pain was unbearable.  His children had been young adults at the time and they did their best to cheer him.  He had muddled through the season and reminded himself to smile.  He certainly didn't feel the smile, but he faked it for the sake of his children who were so worried about him.

Today the pain was different.  His children and stepchildren didn't seem to be so worried about him.  His children acted like he had been through this before and should know what to expect.  His stepchildren were focused on their own grief at the loss of their beloved mother.  They had elected to have Thanksgiving in their mother's home to honor her.  Jerry wasn't sure this had been in his best interest.  Part of him wanted to be somewhere else and another part of him wanted to be alone in this house to grieve for his wife.

This is different than when Juanita died,  Jerry thought.  What is wrong with me?  I've done this before.  I know what to expect.  The grief will lessen with each new day.  Something is definitely wrong with me.  He considered going to the doctor for a complete check-up.  He had taken care of Mary for so long and neglected his own health in the process.  It was possible that he was sick. 

"Pappy.  Pappy."  He heard one of his great-grandchildren calling him.

"What do you need, Pumpkin?"  Jerry asked.

"I want to ask the bwessing today."  Three year old Caleb told him.

"Alright, as soon as everyone gets quiet, we will let you ask the blessing."

"E'r'body be quiet.  It's time for the bwessing."   Caleb tried to get everyone's attention, but his little voice just couldn't be heard over the noise.

Jerry watched him try a few more times and then, using his coach's voice from earlier days, quickly quieted the rowdy bunch.  "Caleb wants to ask the blessing today.  Let's gather around the table and bow our heads as he prays."

"Dear Desus, tank you for our food today.  Please take care of my Mammy today.  She came to see you the udder day and she don't have no little children to sit on her lap like we did when she was here.  Give her a kiss for me and tell her we miss her.  And dear Desus, please tell me mama I don't have to eat the squash today.  Amen."

Jerry felt like crying through most of Caleb's prayer, but the last sentence brought bouts of laughter from the whole family. 

After the enormous dinner, the daughters and daughter-in-laws cleaned the kitchen while the men watched a football game on television.  The children played outside in the cool weather, careful not to run over Mammy's fall flowers.  

By 7:00 p.m. the house was empty and Jerry was alone.  He sat in his recliner as was his habit in the evenings. There was nothing on television and he wasn't interested in reading.  What is wrong?  Jerry wondered as he looked over at Mary's chair.  The tears started flowing and were still flowing at 10:00 when he went into the bedroom.  He prepared the bed the way Mary liked it, but could not bring himself to lie down.  He was back in his recline by 10:15.  It was going to be a 'recliner night'.

Jerry flipped the television over to the Weather Channel and turned the volume down low.  Sometimes the low, constant noise helped him sleep in his recliner.  Lately he seemed to sleep about thirty minutes at a time.  He could go back to sleep after a few minutes, but he never slept longer than  thirty minutes.  Why is that?  I used to sleep all night.

The third time Jerry woke that night, he began to pray.  "Lord what is wrong with me.  I didn't do this when I lost Juanita.  Why am I doing this now?"  He sat quietly and waited for God to settle his heart.  Suddenly he knew the difference in the pain he was experiencing.  When Juanita died, sheer grief had filled his heart.  This time the grief was coupled with fear.  At his age, he was facing his own mortality.  He knew he was ready to meet the Lord.  He had been ready since the age of nine.  It wasn't death that scared him.  It was dying and the fear of dying alone.  He had been by Juanita and Mary's side when the Lord called them home.  He had held their hand and made sure they were comfortable in their last minutes on earth.  Who would be by his side?  Who would hold his hand?  He fell asleep again and woke feeling no more at peace than he had earlier.

At daylight, he phoned his oldest son.  "We need to talk."

"What's wrong?"

"I'm just not doing well.  I can't sleep and I really don't want to stay here alone."

"Do you want to come live with us?"

"No.  That puts strain on everyone in the family.  I want to find an assisted living facility that can take care of me and I can be around people my own age."

"Okay, I'll make some appointments for you to visit some facilities.  I'll go with you to see them and we will make the decision together."  

Jerry hung up the phone feeling at ease for the first time since Mary had died.  He slept better that night, knowing that his son would pray about this decision and the Lord would lead them.  He rested in the Lord.

Thanksgiving Woes

Fiction Friday

Georgia hated this time of year.  It seemed like everywhere she went someone said, "It's almost Thanksgiving."  Or worse than that was, "We have so much to give thanks for."  Yeah right.  She had already buried two husbands and two children.  She had other living children, but her mind was constantly on the two she had lost.  And as for husbands, she certainly didn't want to hear about that.

Georgia didn't have much to smile about these days.  But then again, she never had.  As far back as she remembered, there was always a weight on her shoulders.  It seemed like no one had as many problems as she had.  She had grown up poor, married young, widowed young, remarried, lost a child, widowed again, and lost another child.

One could honestly describe Georgia as Sad Sack Sybil.  She wasn't a lot of fun to be around and didn't like  the grandchildren taking everyone's attention away from herself.  She was jealous of small children because they required their parents help, leaving them little time for her.  She had difficulty keeping a friend because of her constant complaining.

When Georgia complained, someone always reminded her of her blessings.  She would answer, "Oh yeah.  I've been so blessed."  but secretly resented the reminder. She loved being miserable because it brought her a great deal of attention.  Yet out in public, on the surface she appeared to be quite happy.  She was friendly to strangers and polite to wait staff.

Georgia took very good care of herself.  She ate right and exercised daily.  Most days she walked at least a mile around her neighborhood.  She spoke to neighbors and they all believed her to be sweet and thoughtful of others.  As she made the walk yesterday, she noticed a neighbor's flowerbeds.  On one side of the front door, the flowers were bright, full, and beautiful.  On the other side, they were wilted, scrawny and quickly dying.  That is strange.  They are the same kind of flowers in the same yard.  Why are some so pretty and some so down-right ugly.  Georgia pondered the flower situation as she stood in front of the house. 

She was still standing there when the owner of the house drove into the driveway.  "Good morning."  the neighbor exited the car and greeted Georgia.

"Good morning.  I was just looking at your flowers."  Georgia told the neighbor as she walked closer to the car.

"Thank you.  I enjoy gardening."
"Why are the flowers on one side of the door healthier than the ones on the other side?"
"Because I feed the ones on the right side, but not the ones on the left."
"Why would you do that?"
"Years ago, I had a problem with my attitude.  One day God showed me through a sermon at church that if I kept feeding that attitude it was only going to grow.  If I fed a sweet spirit, it would grow.  So now I plant the same flowers and feed the ones on the right.  When I look at my flowers it reminds me that whatever I feed will grow, both in my yard and my spiritual life.  I am amazed at how much I have grown in Christ since that lesson and I never want to forget it; so I'll keep planting flowers and feeding only half."

Georgia made an excuse about needing to rush home and quickly left.  Her heart was aching and she knew she needed some time alone with God.  How much time had she wasted 'feeding' her pain?

On her knees she promised God that she would 'feed' her blessings in her speech and actions from now on.  She asked Him to give her a visual as He had given the neighbor to remind her to praise rather than complain.  Then she got a journal from her desk and wrote two pages of blessings God had given her. She knew in her heart that she would read these pages often.

Thanksgiving

This is the time of year we give thanks for the gifts we have been given.  Please allow me a few minutes to tell you about the blessings I have received in the last five months.

• My manuscript was accepted by a publisher and will be released in a few weeks.
• I will complete my new manuscript in a couple of weeks.
• We sold our house without ever putting it on the market.
• We sold our house for more than it appraised.
• We found a rent house where the landlord would accept a short term lease--until my husband retires in April.
• We purchased two pieces of property, side by side, from two different owners and will close on both the same day. 

The Lord has blessed my family abundantly in the last few months.  I trust that He will continue to do so.  Please click on comment and tell me how you have been blessed.

Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow

Joan had been cooking for two days. She enjoyed cooking for her family. The pies had been baked and salads prepared. The rolls had been steadily rising all morning and were ready to be put in the oven. The turkey was cooked to perfection.

Joan could hear the family laughing in the living room. She smiled as she listened to the teasing. There was always teasing when her grown children were together. She looked around her kitchen and remembered the many meals she had cooked here.

Tomorrow she and her husband would move to their new house. They were retiring and excited about their new life. They had built a beautiful home in the small town where they were actively involved in the church and community. It was close to the lake so Roger could fish and they both enjoyed the friendships they had made through the church. They were looking forward to moving to the community permanently. But still--they had celebrated over thirty Thanksgivings in this house. There was a time when her children were chasing each other around the couch instead of sitting on it teasing each other. There was a time her children were sitting around the table in high chairs instead of serving themselves from the buffet line. There was a time she was teaching them to pray instead of asking one of them to lead in prayer.

They were celebrating Thanksgiving in this house today because the children had asked for it. Joan had been surprised at their reaction to the move. She hadn't realized that her children had such strong bonds with the house where they grew up.

"You sold the house?" "You sold our childhood home?" And other such questions had been asked.
"You knew we were selling the house. We told you that several years ago when we bought a place on the lake. You knew we planned to move up there when your dad retired."
"But you sold the home where we grew up." "This is home." And other such accusations were made.
For these reasons the family had decided they needed one more holiday at 'home'.

Today she stood in her kitchen alone, yearning for the past, enjoying the day, and excited about the future. Tomorrow her life would change completely. Even though they considered this home, her children would return to the homes they had built with their families. After today a new family would call this house home and her family would never return. Would the new family appreciate the house as much as she did? Joan and Roger had built the house with their own hands. Would the new family appreciate the work they put into it?

Tomorrow they would move to the new house they had built--also with their own hands. Joan had chosen the plans carefully. The house was designed to sustain them in their old age and welcome the kids and grandkids when they came to visit. Joan had designed the bedrooms to accommodate several guests. She had put in special features to assist her and Roger in their later years if needed. The house would serve them well for the rest of their lives. They had dedicated it to the Lord and asked His blessings on it. They intended to use the house to entertain church members and in any other way God lead them.

Today the family was celebrating Thanksgiving together in this house for the last time. The meal was ready. Joan thought, I need to call everyone to the table, but I need just a little more time. Can I do this? Can I walk out of my home and close the door for the last time? Lord, please give me the strength to do this. I know this is Your will. You have worked miracles to make this happen. There is no other way our plans could have worked out except for Your divine intervention. Please help me to celebrate with my family today. Amen.

Joan took a deep breath and called out, "Dinner is ready." Suddenly everyone from the living room hurried into the dining room. They found seats at the table that Roger had extended and he asked the blessing. Joan became teary eyed during his prayer.

"Are you alright, Mom?" One of the kids asked.
"Oh yes. I'm fine." They are just tears of regret, sorrow, joy, and contentment. She didn't know how to explain it.

Yesterday she built this house, raised her children, and said goodbye to them one by one. Today she welcomed them all back for a time of Thanksgiving. Tomorrow she would say goodbye to the house and the children.