Dating Violence Sequel

Last week I posted about dating violence.  I had watched Downsized, a show about a family struggling during economic issues.  The 17 year old daughter had been hit and verbally abused by her boyfriend.  The follow up was last night.

The family met with the boyfriend and his parents who discounted every thing the girl said.  They defended their son, refused to believe their son would abuse a girl, and blamed the girl.  "She shouldn't have been there."  The boy's best friend validated every thing the girl said.

This is typical behavior of an abuser.  They always blame the victim.  I do not know if the family will press charges.  However, I do know that they probably saved their daughter and other children from future abuse just by being proactive.  They handled the situation very well.  If your child is facing something like this, take charge.  So something.  Say something.  Be a support for your 'child' even if your 'child' is an adult.  INTERVENE!

Dating Violence

This blog began because I was watching one of my favorite reality shows, Downsized.  It is about a family who have fallen on difficult economic times and what they are doing to recover.  This is a blended family of nine people.  The couple are raising 5 children from her first marriage and 2 from his.  The children range from ages 11-18--with a set of triplets in the middle.

On this episode which aired 10/11/11, the 17 year old girl begins dating a new boyfriend.  Her 15 year old brother doesn't like the boy because of his reputation at school, but the sister blows off his warnings.  Toward the end of the show the 16 year old step-brother reports that something is wrong with the girl.  The mother investigates and finds that the girl has been hit multiple times by the boyfriend and has bruises all over her body.  The show ended as her parents were beginning to intervene.  I can hardly wait until next week to see how they handle it.

I determined to write this blog on dating violence toward young women, but my research showed that it is prevalent in young men also.  Several surveys have been done on teens and the percentage of teens reporting dating violence ranges from 15-60%.  If you have a teenager whose behavior has changed after beginning  new relationship, don't ignore it.  Get involved and find out what is going on.  Dating violence becomes domestic violence after marriage.  Less than 1% of domestic violence is reported to police.  If you choose to ignore the signs of abuse toward your teenager, you are running the risk that your 'child' will be abused for years and never tell anyone.

I have included some links with vital information to help you recognize the signs.  Please take time to read them.

http://www.ag.state.il.us/communities/youthadvocacy/TeenDatingViolenceQuiz_2606.pdf

http://www.atg.wa.gov/ProtectingYouth/TeenDatingViolence.aspx
http://www.athealth.com/Consumer/disorders/DomViolFacts.html
http://www.acadv.org/dating.html
http://www.findcounseling.com/journal/domestic-violence/domestic-violence-statistics.html
http://www.womenshealth.gov/violence-against-women/types-of-violence/dating-violence.cfm
http://www.athealth.com/Consumer/disorders/datingviolence.html