There's Always a Solution

 We were at the lake and I had worked hard to clean the house while my husband fished.  It looked great.  I looked at my kitchen and thought, There is no way I am going to cook and mess that up.  Plus I don't want to clean it again.  Now what should I do?  My husband will be in from fishing soon and experience tells me he will be hungry.  There is only one small cafe' close to our house.  Again my brilliant minds shifted into high gear.  I'll go down to the cafe' and get a couple of burgers and fries.  I can make it back before Sam gets home.

Arriving at the cafe' I immediately saw that no one was there.  No cars!  No people inside!  No lights on inside!  What now?  The small store down the street sells pizza.  Sam is not a pizza person.  He might have to be tonight.  My thoughtful wife voice said.  Still thinking of what to do, I put the car in reverse and began to back up.  At just that moment the owner of the cafe' came out of the marina office.

I lowered my window and asked, "Are you open?"  He replied, "Yes, I'm open, but I'm running around doing a hundred other things.  What do you need?"  I asked, "Can you make a couple of burgers for me?"  "Sure"  "May I come in?"  "Yes, but you might be put to work in here."  "That's alright.  I've done it before."  He unlocked the door and we both went in.  Quickly he handed me a menu and said, "Look at this and tell me what you want.  I'll be back in a minute."  Almost as quickly as he came, he walked out the door.  Now what do I do?  I waited for a few minutes.  He came back.  "Did you figure out what you wanted."  "Yes, two burgers, two fries, and two corn dogs."  "I'll get right on it."  He got out the meat and again left the cafe'.  I waited.  After a few minutes,  I thought He is never going to make my burgers.  I walked to the grill and frier, felt both and discovered they were still hot.  I started cooking my burgers. 

The owner returned and didn't seem at all surprised that I was cooking.  "Did you find everything you need?"  He asked as he laid out the buns.  The door opened and an older couple came in.  "Can I help you?"  The owner asked.  "Two burgers and two fries."  They answered.  The owner got out two more patties and I put them on the grill.  The owner got out the fries and I put them in the frier.  He finished putting the fixings on the buns and they were ready for the meat patties.  The fries finished cooking and he took them to the couple.  Again he left to check on something at the marina.  I put the cooked meat on the buns and served the couple.  The door opened and a man came in.  "He'll be right back."  I told him.

I finished my order and was wrapping it when the owner came back in.  "I'm finished.  What do I owe you?"  "Oh I'm not going to charge you for this.  I appreciate your help and you can come back and help me anytime you're bored."  I laughed and told him I just might do that.  When I told my husband, he said I probably needed a part-time job and he would talk to the owner about it.  It was fun, but I don't want to do it on a regular basis.

But look at it this way.  I took home restaurant food that I didn't pay for.  I cooked in someone else's kitchen that I didn't have to clean.  My kitchen stayed spotless.  Not a bad deal.



Injustice Solution

As you know, any issues about children are close to my heart.  When I hear of a child with a disability or injustice, my radar hones in and my total focus is on the child.  Yesterday I heard a news story about an obese 11 year old boy who was tired of being bullied.  We have seen many stories like this in the news.  There have been many reports about the nice, quiet, nerdy student, who after years of abuse retaliates against the entire student body.  When we hear a story like this, we immediately think why didn't someone do something?  Why indeed. 

Our hearts go out to the abused and the abusers.  What can be done?  Whose fault is it?   How do we stop this?  The 11 year old in the news story weighed 206 lbs.  He had always been overweight and his parents admitted being enablers.  He was teased unmercifully at school. He was unable to participate in normal childhood games. Limited by his weight, soon that all anyone saw.  One day he had had enough of the teasing and limitations.  He decided to get back at everyone who teased him and knew exactly how to do it.

Let's look at some options he had.  He could tell his teachers.  We often suggest that, although there is no proof it makes a difference.  He could request anti-bullying programs be presented to the student body.  Bullies learn so much at these programs.  He could retaliate against the ones that hurt him.  That turns him into one of them.  He could talk to them and let them know how much their teasing hurts him.  They care so much about his feelings.  He could move to another school.  Bullies are only in one school. 

This bright 11 year old chose to reject these options for a more permanent solution.  He lost weight.  In fact he lost 85 lbs in one year.  He decided to take away the object of their teasing.  Now before anyone gets on their high horse, I am not saying that anyone deserves to be bullied.  Absolutely not.  There is never a justification for bullying.  But this story is not about the bullying.  It is about the solution.  This child realized he could not change anyone else.  He had no control over them, but he did have control over himself.  So he changed himself.  He stopped being a victim, began dieting and exercising, and became a healthy child.  He now spends his time helping others, including his many friends, become healthy.

How much time do we waste being a victim rather than changing the situation?  We are in a financial bind and can't afford the things we want or need.   Our child is rebelious and breaking our hearts.  Our marriage is less than satisfying.  We all have issues and options.  We can sit around and moan about it, retaliate, become depressed, or determined that God is against us.  Or we can look at the situation, analyze it, determine what we can control, and take action.  The point is, we can be a victim or a conquerer.  Look at any situation.  There may be only one thing that you can change, but that one thing can relieve at least some of your pain. 

Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

--Reinhold Niebuhr

In loving memory of
Fr Bertram Griffin -- 1932-2000