It May Be Legal, But?

Much has been made about the fake cancer drugs that have been sold in several countries, including the United States.  On the nightly news last night, the reporter interviewed the owner of the company that sold the drugs.  Guessing from his speech and mannerism, he is an American who moved to Barbados to establish his company.  The reporter asked him about the useless drugs and he answered, "We have done nothing wrong.  Everything we have done is legal and ethical."

Alright, let's assume for a minute that the action of the company was ethical and legal.  The drugs were purchased because someone was suffering with a life threatening disease.  Where are your priorities when you can knowingly dupe someone in that much pain?  There are times that 'legal and ethical' are not the question.  What ever happened to right and wrong?  Would the company give those drugs to someone they loved?  Would the owner take the drugs if he were suffering with cancer? 

I would also like to point out that the owner of the company expressed no regrets for the pain or suffering his actions had produced.  He expressed no sympathy to the patients who had lived the pain, believing the drug he sold them would help.  He accepted no responsibility for any action of himself or his company. 

We seem to be living in a no fault world.  Does anyone take responsibility for their actions anymore?  Can anyone just apologize?  No excuses.  No passing the buck.  No hiding behind some law.  Just plain old, "I messed up and I apologize." 

It might be legal, but is it right?

Death of a Star

Much has been made of the death of Whitney Houston.  She was one of the world's best singers.  Anytime one of songs came on the radio, I stopped everything I was doing and listened.  There was no way I could continue with my activities while she was singing.  She had a history of drug and alcohol abuse.  No illegal drugs were found in her room.  So did she die of drug and alcohol abuse? 

It will be weeks before we know the cause of death, but one thing is sure.  The consequences of our action is certain.  It may not be soon, but we will pay the consequence for our behavior.  That goes for drug and alcohol use as well as over eating, poor diet, lack of exercise, and ignoring health concerns.  The same can be said for our attitude toward others, poor handling of finances, ignoring maintenance on our homes or cars, and taking care of business.

It is quite possible that Whitney Houston had not engaged in drug or alcohol use on the day she died.  Years ago another singer, Karen Carpenter died after years of battling an eating disorder.  She had sought counseling and recovered, however the damage had been done to her body.  Our body does not recover just because we begin treating it appropriately.  Our credit score does not immediately recover when we begin working on it.  The pain of immediately forgotten when we apologize for hurtful words or actions toward others. 

The bottom line is that there is a consequence for any decision we make or behavior we engage.  My husband said, "If you dance to the tune, you have to pay the piper."  The consequence is not always immediate.  Sometimes it takes years to see the damage and when we do, there is no reversal.  As we make decisions, let's be aware that there will be a consequence.  

Broken Heart

My heart is broken today.  Late yesterday afternoon, I received news that one of my students passed away.  He graduated one year ago with much assistance from me.  This student had all the potential in the world.  Yet, he barely graduated high school and only lived 13 months after graduation.  What happened?

ADDICTION!   It started when he was in 7th grade--not to drugs, but to sex.  He had his first sexual encounter at 13 years old and could never get enough after that.  It was all he thought about.  He even stopped taking a standardized state test in 8th grade to text a request to his female partner. 

After the addiction began, his grades began to fall.  He was referred to me for assistance from Special Education.  He did not need Special Education.  He had average intelligence and was very capable.  He was also a gifted athlete.  I was begged by others in the district to help him.  I allowed him to be monitored by Special Education and receive extra help if needed. 

His grades did not pick up.  The coaches put him into tutorials as well as tutoring him personally.  The Special Education Teachers tried to help.  Nothing worked.  His senior year was a fiasco.  He wouldn't come to school.  The coaches begged me to put him to work and give him credit for it so he could graduate.  He wouldn't go to work. 

The last six weeks, he kicked it into high gear with two jobs.  He earned enough credit to graduate, but not before graduation ceremony.  He was not allowed to walk for graduation.  Two weeks later, he had completed his credits and I sent word to administration that he was eligible for graduation.

About now, you are thinking that he died of a sexually transmitted disease.  Go back and read the all caps.  I said he died of ADDICTION.  After the thrill of sex wore off, he began experimenting with drugs.  He died yesterday as the result of a bad mix.

What does this have to do with the sex addiction?  Addiction to ANYTHING is harmful.  Once someone becomes accustomed to receiving his or her thrills from a quick 'high', they are addicts.  One addiction can lead to another.  Many addicts have more than one addiction. 

Here are some addictions that are just as harmful as drugs:
Sex
Alcohol
Weight control
Control in general
Shopping
Gambling
Watching television
Working
Carbohydrates
Smoking

If you see one of these addictions in one of your loved ones, don't ignore it and pass it off as harmless.  No addiction is harmless.  Addiction controls the individual.  No one wants to be controlled.

Did I Fail?

Many of you have been reading about Denise and my efforts to help her with a prescription drug addiction.  If you have read my blogs, you know that she did go for medical detox, but left before being moved to the facility that houses the 90 day rehab program. 

Denise is now angry with me.  Each time I talk to her, she tells me how bad the place was and says, "I can't believe you betrayed me like that."

My husband has told me often in the last few days, "You did the right thing.  I don't know if I could have done that.  I am proud of you."

His support has been unwaivering and I have needed it.  I have also been very grateful for that support.  He can usually tell by the look on my face that I need to hear once again that I did the right thing.  His words are sweet and mean a lot to me.  The other day as he was repeating the encouragement, he said "This is not over.  God is not through with this yet.  You just wait, it will turn out right."  I hope he is correct about it turning out right.  I know he is correct about God not being through with this yet.  How do I know?  Denise is still on this earth.  When God is through, she will be healed or He will have taken her home with him.  Maybe we should all practice "wait, it will turn out right".

God's Hand At Work--The Intervention II

Please understand that this is about 2 1/2 hours into the intervention.   At this point, Denise is in the bathroom, the intervention team is sitting in the living room with frazzled nerves and looking to me for answers. 

"What do we do now?" they asked.

 I stood there at a loss for words.  I looked out in the backyard and sent up a silent prayer.  Suddenly a peace and resolve filled my body.  I looked at the team and said, "We are going to pack for her to leave.  If she doesn't want to go, she is going to have to tell us to stop and say that she refuses to go.  Otherwise, we are going forward.  Find a suitcase, Tiffany."  I think this is called 'calling one's hand'.

The entire team got up and started gathering things to pack for Denise.  Tiffany went into one of the bedrooms to look for suitcases.  The interventionist asked, "Where is the garage?  They might be out there?"  I showed her the direction of the garage and she headed out there.  Tiffany came back without a suitcase.  I told her that Sharon had gone out to the garage.  Immediately Tiffany went to help.  Denise's mother started folding the mountain of clothes on the couch, thinking that we would find some of Denise's clothes there and basically pack from the couch.

Tiffany and Sharon came back into the living room with a suitcase just as Denise came out of the bathroom.  I took a deep breath.  Talk about being caught with your hand in the cookie jar.  Denise looked at the suitcase and said, "Oh Tiffany, don't get that old thing.  It's dirty.  I have better suitcases in here.  Come and let me show you."  Tiffany retrieved the good suitcases and we began packing.  Denise didn't like the clothes we picked and showed us which ones to pack. 

It is not unusual for addicts to fall asleep while smoking.  Every t-shirt she wanted packed had holes from cigarette burns.  Not one or two eighth inch holes.  A spattering of small holes and some as large as two inches in diameter.  Tiffany tried to get her to take good ones, but she insisted that there was no reason to burn shirts that were not already burned.  Her logic here is that she will fall asleep again while smoking, so use the shirts that are already burned.  In others words, don't solve the problem, just minimize the damage.

As Tiffany, Denise's mother, and I were packing, Denise announced she was in pain and needed to lie down.  When she got into her bedroom, we heard, "Sharon."  That was the first time she had addressed Sharon.  Immediately Sharon went into the bedroom.  Denise started talking to her.  I didn't know what about and didn't care.  She was connecting with Sharon and that was what needed to take place for this intervention to be successful.

Tiffany needed to actually book the flights that Sharon had placed on hold.  We were working on a budget and Tiffany was trying to use her frequent flier miles to pay for the flights.  She had explained to me that it is not as easy as people believe.  Sometimes frequent flier miles are not accepted for the desired flight, time, or airline.  It was possible that we would have to pay for the tickets. She had previously booked her flight back to St. Louis using some of her miles.  Tiffany wrote down all the information she would need to book the flights for Denise and Sharon.  Then she sat down at the computer and started entering our request.  In less than five minutes, the flights were booked and paid for with frequent flier miles.  Then she said, "Now let me see if I can book Sharon's flight from Los Angeles to Chicago."  In less than three minutes that was done using frequent flier miles successfully.  Tiffany looked up at me and said, "That never happens.  I have a hard time getting one flight when I want it.  I have never booked three tickets and gotten everything I wanted."  I reminded her that God was in control of this intervention.

Several times throughout the intervention, Denise tried to get us to leave so she could "think about getting help".  This is a ploy of the addict.  If left alone, he or she will take more drugs or leave before the team gets back.  We never left her alone.  About 2:00 p.m. Tiffany and Denise's mother left to pick up lunch for the team.  Sharon and I stayed with Denise, although she insisted that the team should go out for lunch at her expense.  We refused to take the bait. 

At one point Denise asked Sharon to come to the back room and see the planned remodel project.  When I saw them back there, I silently mouthed to Sharon that I was going to get better T-shirts to pack.  I closed the door so that Denise could not see me and went into her bedroom.  After a great deal of searching, I did find three no-hole T-shirts and packed them in the suitcase.  Later I needed to pack something else, but Denise was standing over me.  I knew if I opened that suitcase, she would take out the good T-shirts, so I stood there holding the object for about 10 minutes.  I would have stood there all day if necessary, but I was determined that she was not taking those old, stained, burned T-shirts.

By 4:45 p.m. we were on our way to the airport for the 7:15 flight to Los Angeles.  At 6:00 we were at the airport.  Most addicts are very good manipulators.  Denise has a master's degree in manipulation.  As was to be expected, Denise played the victim at the airport so she could get priority treatment.  The last time we saw her, she was in a wheelchair, being wheeled down the sidewalk by an attendant with Sharon walking beside her. 

As emotionally and physically drained as I was, I knew Sharon had a four hour flight with Denise.  I prayed that God's grace would sustain Sharon for the long, nonstop conversation she was about to endure.  The intervention had been successful.  Denise was entering treatment for addiction to prescription pain pills.  Right?? Well, maybe not.

More tomorrow.  If you have not already done so, please check the appropriate box if you have a loved one who struggles with addiction.

God's Hand At Work-The Intervention

Saturday morning was bright, sunny, hot and sticky.  The 'intervention team' went to breakfast.  After eating more than we should, we wrote the 'bottom line' letter.  A bottom line letter tells the addict in no uncertain terms what will happen if he or she refuses the help.  It includes the consequences of their refusal, including what the family will do to take further action.  It informs the addict that he or she is no longer invited to family functions and the family will not listen to their problems until they are ready to accept treatment.  This letter is held by the interventionist until it is obvious the addict is not going to accept the help being offered.  Often times treatment is accepted after this letter is read.

At breakfast I informed the others that Denise thought she looked so bad that she didn't want to be seen by the family.  I asked them to wait outside until I could make her more comfortable about her appearance.  At 10:00 a.m. I called Denise to tell her I was coming to her house.

"I'm asleep."  She said.

"That's alright.  Just get up, unlock the door and go back to bed.  I'll let myself in.  I want to see Bobby."

"He's asleep, too."

"He'll wake up.  Just get up and unlock the door."

Ten minutes later, I entered the dark, dreary, less-welcoming-than-the-Adams-family house.  I groped my way down the hall to Bobby's room, knocked on the door, and announced that I was there.  He immediately opened the door, let me in and then sat down on the bed.

"What's going on?" he asked.

"Your sister and your grandmother are one their way over here to do an intervention on your mother.  We are going to try to get her to go to rehab tonight."

"Cool."

"Tiffany has suggest it would be best if you are not here because your mother gets so angry with you."

"So, you want me to get lost for the day?"

"Do you mind?"

"No, it's okay."

He immediately went to the shower and I went to Denise's room. 

"Denise, wake up.  There are some people coming over to see you."

"No, I don't want to see anybody.  I don't want them to see my house.  I am hurting so bad.  I had a bad night."

"Well they are coming, so do you want me to help you put on your wig?"

"No, I'm not vain.  I just don't want to see anyone.  Who's coming?  Is my mother bringing her preacher over here to pray for me?  Is this some sort of intervention?  Because if it is, I don't need it.  I am not a drug addict.  I don't even take all my pills prescribed.  I have pills left over every month.  I'll show you?"  She opened a draw to show me all the pill bottles.  The addict will always try to deny the addiction, defend his actions and justify his need for the pills. "I have to go to the bathroom" she announced. While in the bathroom, she began crying, claiming she was in pain.

By the time Bobby got out of the shower and dressed, the rest of the team was at the house.  He walked out of his room, hugged his grandmother and sister.  I introduced the interventionist.  "Do you want a hug, too.  Come here."  He said as he embraced her in a big bear hug.  After a short exchange of farewells, he left the house.

Denise came out of the bathroom crying uncontrollably.  Her mother and daughter attempted to hug her, but she claimed she was in too much pain and went back to bed.  Immediately, Tiffany began gathering chairs and stools.  "Here take this to her room"  She told each one of us.  She was determined that nothing was going to stop this intervention. 

We all crowded into the small room and sat beside the bed.  I introduced the interventionist to Denise.  There was no response, which was a good sign.  I fully expected her to tell the interventionist to go somewhere else; her services were not needed.  Not in polite words that I would print.

"I am here because your family has some concerns about your health."  Sharon began. 

"I'm fine.  I don't need any help."

"Well we think you do."  Sharon continued.  Then she instructed each of us to read our letters. 

Denise was defensive and somewhat argumentative during the letter reading.  She claimed we didn't understand her pain and again defended the amount of drugs she took.  She asked me to open the drawer and show them the pills.  She pointed to the calendar and informed us of each upcoming doctor's appointment.  "I am doing everything I can for my health.  I have been waiting for surgery for 3 months.  They keep passing me from doctor to doctor."

I did most of the talking because Denise is less argumentative with me than others.  "I have found a program that can take care of your whole body.  Then you won't have to go to different doctors trying to find out what is wrong."

"I like my doctors."

"I know you like your doctors, but you have been waiting 3 months already and still don't have surgery scheduled."

"Yes, I do.  I have an appointment on the 30th."

"You have an appointment for surgery on the 30th?"  The addict will try to confuse the facts.

"No I have a doctor's appointment to be released.  Then I can go to the next doctor who will schedule the surgery." 

"If you go to this program, they won't pass you around like that."

"I like my doctors."

"Mom, please go for this treatment."  Tiffany pleaded.

"I'll go after the 30th.  I can't go before then.  I have a surgery scheduled."  Again attempting to confusing the facts.

"The 30th is two weeks away. Then it will take another two weeks to schedule surgery.  That's another month.  I have talked to these doctors and told them about your health.  They have set up some special tests to try and help your Chordoma tumor."

"Mom, please go for treatment."

"I'll go tomorrow."

"Well actually, we have flights book for 7:15 tonight."  Tiffany exaggerated this a little.  Sharon had placed two flights on hold, but not booked. 

"Tiffany, how could you do that to me.  I'm not going anywhere tonight.  All of you need to get out of my room so I can put in my suppository."  The other three left.  Before I could leave, Denise began telling me why she could not leave that night.  I slammed the door and we had a 'come to Jesus meeting'. 

"I can't go.  Who is going to take care of Bobby?"

"I'll take care of Bobby."

"What about my bills?"

"I can pay your bills online just like you do now."

"What if I get out there and they find something that takes three months to cure?  Am I going to stay out there three months?"

"Why not?" 

"Get out of my way, I'm going to the bathroom."

Denise went to the bathroom and I went into the living room.  The other members of the team looked up at me and said, "What do we do now?" 

Answer tomorrow.  Please check the appropriate box if you have a loved one who suffers with an addiction.  If you marked an answer yesterday, please do not mark again.  I will add all the posts for a total at the end of the series.

God's Hand At Work--Leading up to the Intervention

I thought I would not be very busy during the week and a half between the conference call and the scheduled intervention.  I knew I had a commitment to VBS, but I thought everything for the intervention was complete.  Instead, I was on the phone daily with the admissions administrator of the program or the company sending the trained interventionist.  One of our conversations included a discussion of Denise's personality and the right person to help us with the intervention.  It had to be a strong, independent woman.  Denise would not connect with any other type.  Connection is crucial to a successful intervention.  The service explained that the training for the intervention would last 4-8 hours.  This was a problem since none of us live in the area where Denise does.  I searched online and discovered that I could rent a hotel suite with two bedrooms, two bathrooms and a living room for the same price as separate hotel rooms.  I made the reservation.

On Thursday before my VBS team went into chapel, they were telling me good-bye and I asked that we have prayer.  We joined hands in a circle and one by one, these ladies prayed that God grant me a safe journey, wise words, and emotional strength.  Then they prayed for the other members of the intervention team.  They concluded by praying that God would soften Denise's heart and help her to be receptive to the help she was being offered.  Then one lady looked at another and said "Remind me to ask prayer for this  tomorrow morning at the staff meeting."  I left feeling blessed to have such good friends.

Friday morning I left the lake at 7:00 to make sure I was at the airport on time.  Bush Intercontinental Airport is a maze and I do not attempt to maneuver within it.  I always park at a Park and Ride and let them drive me to the door.  It is worth every penny I pay.  The closer the van got to the terminal door, the more the knot in my stomach tightened.  This was real, real, REAL.

I sat down at baggage claim to wait for the interventionist.  Sharon arrived at 10:30 and we instantly connected.  The team member who had been out of the country was flying in at 11:50, so Sharon and I waited for her.  It was a good time for me to brief her about Denise and the addiction.  When Tiffany did arrive, the three of us went to lunch.  At that time, Tiffany briefed Sharon about Denise.  What she said verified what I had told Sharon in the airport.  We proceeded to the hotel and waited for the fourth member of the team to arrive. 

The hotel suite was perfect.  Tiffany and I could access the Internet with our laptops and there was ample room in the living room for everyone to sit comfortably and listen to the training.  We went through the training manual, discussing Denise at certain points.  The service had sent each team member a letter writing guide and  instructed us to write a letter to Denise explaining how her addiction affected us.  After we completed the training, we read our letters aloud to each other and examined them for any criticism or admonishment.  There were none, so no letter needed to rewritten.  We completed the plan including what would be said if Denise refused to go for help. 

At dinner, Tiffany expressed concern about Denise's son being home during the intervention.  Denise seems to become easily angry at her son for even breathing.  Tiffany said that if he was there Denise would focus all her energy on being angry with him and not listening to what we said.  The team agreed that he had to leave the house.  A vote was taken on who would tell him.  I was elected.  Remind me not to go to the bathroom during a meeting again. 

Sharon had gotten up at 2:00 Friday morning to make her flight.  Tiffany had flown all night from China to Los Angeles and then on to Houston.  I had not slept well in two weeks.  Although we were all exhausted and went to bed at a reasonable time, no one slept very well due to anxiety.  Although we all trusted God, during a time like this, any surprise or deviation of the plan is a potential for derailment.  The cost in this case may very well be Denise's death due to drug overdose. 

Tomorrow we will begin with the morning of the intervention, which may need to be two posts due to length.

Many families are plagued with the problem of addiction.  My mother attends a very small church and has discovered that 10 families in their small congregation have a loved one addicted to prescription pain pills.  One pastor's wife admitted an addiction.   Many of my Christian friends have expressed that they have a loved one who has required help to overcome the addiction.  If you have a loved one who has an addiction, please mark the nature of the addiction at the bottom of this post.  This system is set up to tally the comments.  There is no way for anyone to learn who responded.

God's Hand At Work

About two weeks ago, I asked for prayer about a difficult family matter and promised to tell you more later.  I am now ready to tell you the details and show you God's hand at work.

On Friday, two and a half weeks ago, I escorted a relative to the hospital for a procedure.  It was a simple procedure, however, Denise (not real name) was convinced that she would die during the procedure.  She insisted that a Do Not Resuscitate be notarized before the procedure began.  It was obvious to everyone that Denise was suffering with some sort of mental instability.  I received many questioning looks during the day.   I knew the truth but could not tell them. 

After the procedure, the doctor came to visit with me.  I was determined to get some straight answers from him because the entire family knew that Denise was not telling us the truth.  I wondered how to ask him knowing he was limited by HIPA regulations.  For his protection, I did my best to give him answers rather than asking questions.  I gaged the validity of the answers by his reaction rather than his answers.  I told him that Denise was convinced that she had a stage 4 tumor and 9-11 months to live.  He replied, "She has a very active imagination."  I informed him that Denise was reporting that she overheard a conversation between him and his office nurse about the tumor.  With a smile, he replied, "Well she certainly has a good imagination, doesn't she?"  Then to my amazement, he said, "There is another problem, you know?"  So that he would not have to betray a confidence, I said, "Denise is addicted to prescription pills."  He replied, "She needs professional help."

The following morning at 5:00 a.m., I began researching drug intervention programs.  I found one that asked the reader to leave contact information.  I completed the form and expected a polite reply email on Monday.  Instead at 4:00 p.m. that afternoon, I received a phone call from them.  After an hour of conversation about Denise's problems, the representative said, "I'm sorry, but we can't help Denise.  She needs more help than our program can give.  Let me call another program that I recommend and they will call you back."

About 20 minutes later, a representative of the second program called.  We also talked for over an hour.  Both counselors told me as much about Denise as I told them.  When I asked how they knew, they replied, "We can tell by the kind of drugs she is taking." 

I felt good about the program and agreed to a conference call between the facility and several family members.  I attempted to coordinate every one's busy schedules for the call.  Late Monday afternoon, I knew that the best time for the call would be 6:00 that night and told everyone to be on standby for the call.  I attempted to contact the counselor to tell her but she didn't answer the phone.  I was in a panic. One member of the team was on the east coast, one in the north, three in the southeast, and the counselor on the west coast.   I knew that if the call did not take place that night, we would have to wait several days before our schedules would allow us to "meet".

One hour before the scheduled conference, the counselor called me.  At that time she did not know I had scheduled the call.  She explained that her baby was ill and she had spent the day in the doctor's office.  She had just returned to work and thought it a good idea to 'check in' with me.  I asked if it would be possible to hold the conference call in one hour.  She agreed, took every one's phone numbers and gave me order of events for the call.

The conference call lasted about one hour and fifteen minutes.  Everyone shared information about Denise and came to the conclusion that she needed help.  We scheduled the intervention for ten days later because one member of the team would be out of the country. 

Denise had called my phone several times during the conference call and I had ignored the interruption.  I returned her call and listened to her ranting for over an hour.  I told her I needed to go and then my phone lost the signal.  Immediately, the house phone rang.  I answered it to keep from waking my husband.  Denise started talking about her health.  Typically, Denise shares only what she wants to share and resents questions.  Without warning, she said something about her pain pills and I seized the moment.  "What do you take for pain?"  I asked.  Denise gave me the entire list of all her medications. 

The following day, every team member began researching the program.  After extensive conversation, we agreed that Denise needed to be in this long term in-patient facility.  Then we began working on the intervention portion. 

I can see at least 3 times that God intervened to make this happen.  There are many more times coming our way during the intervention.  We will talk about that tomorrow and once again, you will see God's hand at work.

Sister Wives

I watched the final episode of Sister Wives, the show about the life of a polygamist family.  Polygamy is illegal in the United States.  I do understand that and do not condone their lifestyle.  However, let's look at the other side.  In this particular case, the situation is a mutual agreement between one man and four women.  The four women are best friends and have actively sought each other to become part of the family.  Some of the wives have been divorced and each have expressed their freedom to leave this marriage at any time.  Each wife has a different function within the family and all respect each other's strength and weaknesses.  I have watched almost all of the shows and noticed the love expressed by everyone and for everyone in the family. 

This family chose to go public with their lifestyle, knowing they might be persecuted for it.  The final episode was about them getting ready to leave the state because they feared criminal charges. 

The law enforcement had begun driving up and down the street in front of the family home, which had never been done before the show began. The situation was stressful for everyone.  The plan was to leave town quietly, but then the press found out and published the plan.  The family had to sneak out of town--no small feat for a family of this size.  As they were packing, sirens began and the entire family went into panic mode.

Let me say again--Polygamy is illegal in the United States.  Guess what?  So is adultery and fornication.  Yes the laws are still on the books.  Below are excerpts from two sites on the web about the laws.

Twenty-six states continue to have anti-adultery laws on the books. These laws vary considerably. Some define adultery as any intercourse outside marriage. According to others, it occurs when a married person lives with someone other than his or her spouse. In West Virginia and North Carolina, simply "to lewdly and lasciviously associate" with anyone other than one's spouse is to be adulterous.

Fornication is sexual intercourse between an unmarried man and woman. Fornication still remains a misdemeanor in some states, as is adultery.

Both adultery and fornication are committed on a daily basis, yet no one has to sneak out of town because of it.  In 2009, 41% of the births in United States were by unmarried couples.  How many of them were arrested?  Of these births, 40% do not receive support from the father.  How many of them were arrested? 

Failure to support your child is also illegal.  How many noncustodial parents are arrested for nonsupport?  I know it is on the rise, but not quickly enough to suit me--but then again, I was the child not supported. 

The use of illegal drugs is against the law, but stand on the street corner of any major city and watch the transactions.  Why aren't these people arrested more often?  I know, I know.  The cops don't want the user, they want the seller.  One thing I learned in Economics class was that if there is no market for a product, the business will fold. 

What does all this ranting have to do with Sister Wives?  Let me tell you what I think.  I think that surely the law enforcement of that state had more serious crimes to spend their time on rather than harass a self-supporting, alcohol and drug free, nonviolent, tax paying man who has more than one woman he prefers to call wife.  It is alright to have one wife and three mistresses, but not four wives. 

This article is not for or against polygamy.  It is not for or against adultery or fornication.  It is not even for or against nonsupport of children.  It is about getting our priorities right in this nation.  I know polygamy is illegal, but in the grand scheme of things is it important enough to have law enforcement spend their time watching the house instead of arresting drug addicts or people driving under the influence who have the potential to kill someone?  Is it more important than seeing that a child has food on the table?  Is it more crucial than stopping the number of children brought into this world for the sole purpose of collecting more welfare money from society?  By the way, jaywalking is illegal also.  Careful crossing the street, you could be arrested.  But don't worry, the drug pusher on the other street corner will be just fine while you are escorted 'downtown'.

Drugs in Principals Trash Can

Criminals are notoriously dumb.  Age makes no difference.  Several years ago, one of my high school students was called into the Principal's office for being tardy several times to class.  This is a minor infraction.  The principal intended to verbally reprimand him and send him on his way.

As the principal was talking, the student reached around the side of the desk and threw something in the Principal's trash can.

The principal asked, "What did you throw away?"

"Nothing."  replied the student.

The principal walked around to side of his very large desk and looked in the previously empty trash can.  There was a bag of marijuana in the can--the only thing in the trash can.

"Is that your bag?"  the principal asked.

"No, it's not mine."

"You threw it away."

"No, I didn't." the student replied.

"How did it get there?"

"I don't know."

Knowing it belonged to the student the principal had to take immediate action.  The police were called to file charges.  I was called in to begin transferring this student to the Disciplinary Alternative Education Program.

I somehow doubt this student will be a very successful criminal.